dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
