Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
