How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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