Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
