that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
