Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
