My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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