If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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