had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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