I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
