Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just google imaged poop.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
