your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
wow bdsm is so cute
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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