I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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