ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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