Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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