youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
your room smells of hookers.
And success
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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