I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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