This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
