I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need to wash the frat house off of me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
