Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He? As in you personified your dick?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
