I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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