She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
its liver damage thursday
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
