1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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