I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
