so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
