I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
