I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
