do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
