I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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