So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
