we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
