I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
