dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize