hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
