Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
