I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
