So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
