the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
