Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
