we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
