he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
