I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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