Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
PANTIES FOUND
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