It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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