If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
