Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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