yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
