Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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