Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
