After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
