i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
