I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
